The Hunting of the CrumpleHorned Snorkack
by Bagge
Summary: Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Ginevra Weasley travels to Sweden to hunt for the Crumple Horned Snorkack in this Potter poem.


The Hunting of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack  
a Potter poem made by BAGGE under no influence whatsoever from Lewis Carroll

(Luna, Hermione, Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny and the Crumple-Horned Snorkack itself are copyrighted to J. K. Rowling)

t'was Luna one morning so rainy who said  
'Let us go, let us leave, let us turn our back  
To that what is known' she leapt out of her bed  
'Let us hunt for the Crumple-Horned Snorkack'

'An adventure it is more than any we've seen  
For I tell you, that beast is a foul one  
It is hungry and rude, it is cruel, it is mean  
It is rightfully 'voided and shun'

There she stood with a light such as stars in her eyes  
All of sleep was totally forgotten  
There she stood queer and eager as few of her size  
For the journey they soon would be gotten

'But it doesn't exist' t'was Hermione to speak  
'It's a fantasy made by your dad  
I am sorry to say' said she humble and meek  
'You would better go back to your bed'

'But we can't go away' now Harry took voice  
'We are needed for serious matter  
We can't spend our time with stories and toys  
There are battles to win, there is glory to gather'

'If it is as you say it will dangerous be'  
Said now Ron, 'so why risk our heads?'  
Neville behind him nodded agree  
And hid like a snail in his bed

'Oh come on all of you, you will make me ashamed'  
said Ginny from her blanket cave  
'You were once all adventure but now you are tamed  
You are Gryffindors, right, so be brave'

She stood up and she spoke 'If you don't think its true  
Then come with us and prove we are wrong'  
('That's right' outcried Luna 'that's what you will do')  
Said Hermione 'I'm coming along'

'What if Voldemort catches this dangerous beast  
And feeds it with muggels for soothing its blood thirst'  
('Eats a hundred a day, or a dozen at least')  
Cried Harry 'We'd better be first'

Neville and Ron now exchanged a glance  
Saying all that is known to be said  
'Well, all right little sis' save your speech, just for once'  
Ron and Neville stood up from their bed

Here they are, our crew, flying bold to north-east  
On a carpet for six-persons flight  
(they had nicked it at school during a feast  
where it was stored out of sight)

t'was Luna so clever, t'was Ginny so bold  
t'was Harry with scar on his head  
t'was Hermione so wise, t'was Ron, heart of gold  
and Neville, of whom naught shall be said.

The North Sea was cold and dementors abroad  
Made the journey as wicked as few  
They stood up as a team and they could well afford  
A battle or two with their foe

t'was a bang such as made by a blunderous ghost  
Out of shock of fell Ginny and Ron  
Without noticing they had reached the Swedish coast  
Where the muggels had placed a cannon

What a terrible fate there is no need to say  
To lose Ron, and Ginny as well  
But Hermione, how luckily, she saved the day  
With a two-person-rescuing spell

They searched it by foot, they searched it from air  
They searched it with magic and luck  
But however they searched they found not a hair  
Of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack

'I was right all along' said Hermione so proud  
As they gathered by fire that evening  
She said it quietly, she said it out loud  
She wrote it with soot in the ceiling.

'I was right all along, I was right, you were wrong'  
(But the door to the hut opened behind her back)  
'I was right, you were wrong' but Ron cried 'come along  
It is the Crumple-Horned Snorkack'

'It is huge as a house with a snout that is sly  
And eyes that are greedy and mad  
May I drink stinksap if ever I lie  
It is here and I tell you, its bad'

Cried Harry 'Wands out, let us capture the beast  
Without any further ado  
Let us not hesitate, or delaying the least  
Let us do what we have to do'

Cried Ginny, cried Ron 'We are there for you mate  
The monster is no match for us  
It is time for the Snorkack to meet with its fate  
Let's attack it with no further fuss'

Cried Luna 'Horray I was right, you were wrong  
As I think I am right to remark  
Oh Hermione, it's proved, it's been here all along  
As I said on the day we embarked'

Hermione sat uffish, alone in the hut  
Refused to take part of the hunt  
Alone? Not at all, next to her Neville sat  
And commented her mood with a grunt

'It's all right for you, who is clever' said he  
'Who can easily fight with a spell  
I am all but a squib so its hopeless, you see  
For me to be out there as well'

Such was his temper that she found in her heart  
Out of pity her uffishness drain  
She offered him comfort in that knowing the art  
Of courage is no easy gain

Arm in arm they went forth, holding tight to their wands  
Filled of courage, the kind nothing bends  
But t'was not only the Snorkack they didn't find  
Neither they spotted their friends

They searched them by foot, they searched them from air  
They searched them with magic and luck  
But however they searched they found not a hair  
Of their friends or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack

Their six-member crew now crumbled to two  
What a wicked dilemma of utter despair  
They sat down on the ground with no notch what to do  
When Neville fell into the lair

t'was hidden so cunningly under the snow  
They had totally missed it before  
Neville stood up as the first of the crew  
To set foot inside its door

Bold as brass he went forth holding tight to his wand  
Crying 'Lumos' and then 'Stupefy'  
His legs shook as jelly, but he steadied his hand  
And stunned the beast right in the eye

For two hundred years, and two hundred more  
The Snorkack had roamed proud and fair  
And never it ever took damage before  
Now it was attacked in its lair

To much surprised to do nothing but bawl  
It sat down all confused on the ground  
So came forth Hermione, slightly bruised by the fall  
And they took to look all around

The lair was all cramped with shiningly things  
For the Snorkack was a collector  
They could help themselves to coins and to rings  
As they had stunned its protector

It was as you see happy ends all around  
The heroes went out in the moonshine  
Where the rest of the crew was immediately found  
A bit ruffled but otherwise fine

'We were trapped most slyly during the fight'  
grumbled Harry when out he was tugged  
'But I got a picture so that is all right'  
Said Luna and Ron merely shrugged

Home they went on their carpet, home to the feast  
Where Neville was very relived  
Though they told everyone how he fought with the beast  
No one at all them believed

'To be famous means trouble' he said to his friends  
'A trouble I eagerly shun  
I prefer to be known for what I intend  
Rather than what I have done'

It was heavy words, they all would agree  
Knowingly, clever and deep  
As they sat by the fire, drinking their tea  
And one after one fell asleep


End file.
